Grammar: Is It Your Nemesis? How to use the APOSTROPHE in one easy lesson!

I love that blogging has brought back reading AND writing, but I keep wondering as I read, why is the apostrophe so hard for people to use correctly? They’re either sprinkled everywhere like too much tinsel on a Christmas tree . . . or, they’re left off completely; something so prevalent in Miami we have embraced it: Nikki Beach.

Poor apostrophe, appendix of the body grammar . . . What are your excuses for not using it?
You have kids now–you should know this stuff!

HONESTLY, It’s not hard.
There are only two cases where you use an apostrophe, and, it has only one exception.

1. The apostrophe is for POSSESSION.
If something, like a bakery, belongs to Jane, it’s Jane’s Bakery.

2. The apostrophe is for CONTRACTION.
If you turn two words into one by removing letters: “can not” into “can’t” “you all” becomes “y’all”
The apostrophe is NOT for plurals! If you write “Loonie’s Wanted” That means “Loonie is Wanted”. So, I’m wondering, who is Loonie and what did he do? If you want more than one Loonie, then it’s just “Loonies Wanted” (no apostrophe for plurals 1960s not 1960’s).

The ONLY exception applies to the word “it”.
The reason is easy:
The contraction of “it is” becomes “it’s”
AND the possessive form of “it” under the normal rule would be “it’s”
but they’re the same, so you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.
So, the one exception is for the possessive of “it”:
If something belongs to “it”, use “its” (no apostrophe): The heron flapped its wings.
That’s it. How hard is that?

While I’m ranting on the topic of grammar, when did the word “has” die?
The contraction with somebody’s name, for example, “Helen has gone crazy!”
Contracting “Helen + has” into “Helen’s” gone crazy! is fine, but when did we start saying “Helen is” gone crazy?
You think I’m kidding? Listen to TV newscasters and spokespeople. It’s epidemic. It sounds ignorant. You know, ig’nant.
I guess it’s just part of stupid being the new cool.
If caring about grammar makes me uncool, I love it! I’m too poor, too old, and too educated to care.

One more thing I can’t resist ranting on: There is no such word as “supposably”. It’s “supposedly”.

(This sad rant was prompted by the advertisers’ signs on the softball field at my alma mater Coral Gables Senior High School. Not one was printed with apostrophes used properly! Maybe it was the adverstisers’ fault but isn’t anyone at the school proofreading things before they get posted as very large examples of bad grammar? At least I am not alone, Wikipedia has quite an article on the apostrophe.)